Little Known Facts About The X-Men

•The “X” doesn’t stand for Xavier; it stands for “extra fuckin’ sweet”

•One of Wolverine’s main duties is giving everyone haircuts

•Professor X has 40 wheelchairs

•Beast was neutered last year

•Xavier’s school is required to admit 10 mentally challenged kids a year

•Storm’s carpet? Yeah, they match the curtains. Also, she has white pubes.

•The guys only had Dazzler around so they could run trains on her.

•Remember that dude “Morph” from the cartoon show? There isn’t a fact about him—he just sucks.

•Magneto was married to Heather Locklear for a short time.

•Gambit’s cards are from an Uno deck.

•Nightcrawler sometimes uses his powers to snap changing room photos for Swank Magazine

•Cyclops has two eyes, despite his name.

•Bishop is actually a white dude in black face paint.

•Juggernaut loves cats.

•Rogue didn’t know what the word “rogue” meant until a few years ago; she just thought it sounded cool.

•Cable was fat in high school but he lost a lot of weight right before senior year.

•Colossus’ favorite movie? “Shawshank”

•The Hellfire Club serves great wings.

•Jean Gray isn’t really dead; her and Cyclops are just on a break.

•Kitty Pryde huffs glue when no one’s looking.