EW's Top 20 Villains List, And One Writer's Reaction To It

Well yesterday was fun wasn’t it? Even though we like a hero, EVERYONE loves a villain. It’s just unfortunate that EW thinks we all love these ones. Yes there are some good ones in here but there are also some absolute shockers. Wait till you get to number one. Its gonna take me the next nineteen bad guys to calm down before I can even begin writing about the so-called biggest villain of all time. To start it off, Heere’s Johnny!

20. Jack Torrance

You may not know the name on its own but Jack Torrance took his family to the Overlook Hotel for the Winter, wrote a play and went crazy. His son, Danny, has a special gift called “The Shining”
One of Stephen King’s more grounded villains, Jack communicated with the ghosts of the Hotel. The film is a bit different to the book but it does come with added Jack Nicholson goodness. Sure, it’s Jack playing Jack, but isn’t that why we love him?

19. Alex Forrest

We started so well and then EW realised they were actually putting some thought into this list. Whoa! We can’t have that. Let’s drop Glenn Close into the mix as that crazy woman from Fatal Attraction. Michael Douglas had it coming to him anyway.
Sure, it scared cheating husbands into behaving themselves but are you telling me this woman is scarier than the T-1000? The only redeeming feature about this film is that Arthur was played by Fred Gwynne, better known to us as Herman Munster.

18. Gordon Gekko

What is this? Villains by association? Good guy in one film, bad guy in the next?
So what made Michael Douglas such a villain in this film? Ohh, he was in Wall Street and  he ripped people off. Who cares? You want a dude dealing in financial markets who’s batshit crazy loco insane? Get Patrick Bateman in here dammit! There’s only enough room for one American Psycho on this list.

17. Michael Myers

Michael is relentless, Michael never talks, Michael got his mask from a Star Trek convention. If you disregard Rob Zombie’s remake, John Carpenter’s creation has to be one of the most enduring bad guys over the decades. The story went a bit pear shaped in the middle but the movies are known for their tight continuity, usually picking up directly from where the last one left off.

16. Hans Gruber

This is the role that put Alan Rickman on the map as a villain you do not want to mess with. Is this the meanest he ever was though? If someone says to me “Alan Rickman, Bad Guy” I immediately think of the Sheriff of Nottingham saying he will cut out Robin Hood's heart with a spoon

Guy of Gisborne: Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?
Sheriff of Nottingham: Because it's DULL, you twit. It'll hurt more.

There’s a villain for you, and a womaniser to boot…
You. My room. 10:30 tonight. You. 10:45… And bring a friend.

15. Snow White’s Queen

OK, I agree with this one. Snow White was made in 1937 and was the first full length Disney animated feature. Just imagine being an innocent cinema goer back then and seeing a cartoon at the cinema! With Snow White and all those cute dwarfs an all of a sudden BAM! Wicked Queen ahoy! If that didn’t scare kids back then I have no idea what did. The film has since been named the greatest animated film of all time. Probably because after this Disney went soft and started putting talking animals in the film as sidekicks.

14. Annie Wilkes

Annie made Paul Sheldon’s life a misery after rescuing from a car accident. She discovers he is the author of her favourite series of novels and instead of taking him to hospital, looks after him herself. Suffice to say, she doesn’t have his best intentions at heart. His attempts to escape are shattered and he discovers that maybe the ending for his last book wasn’t the best idea he’s had. Kathy Bates won an Oscar for her role in Misery; the Academy was too damn scared to give it to anyone else.

13. Frank Booth

You want a messed up character? Go watch Blue Velvet. Dennis Hopper at his finest (Well apart from Super Mario Brothers, but that’s another article) Frank tortures, rapes, mutilates, and murders his way through this film by David Lynch. It was originally offered to Willem Defoe who knocked it back. When Dennis read it, he loved the script and told David he had to do the role.

12. Norman Bates

Norman Bates murdered his mum and continued to run the Bates Motel at the bottom of the family property. His mum had told him that women were evil incarnate and couldn’t be trusted as far as you could spit.

The famous shower scene with the stabbity knife in Hitchcock’s adaptation of Robert Bloch’s novel is one of the most famous in cinema history.
Norman Bates is one mixed up kid, another film to check out if you haven’t seen it. Don’t watch the Vince Vaughan 1998 remake. That’s a whole different kind of horror film.

11. J.R. Ewing

J.R?

Dallas?

From 1978 to 1998?

GTFO

>: (

10. Nurse Ratched

Helllloooo Nurse! Actually, no. Don’t even pretend you heard me say that. Nurse Ratched is as far from the blonde goddess who occupied the minds of the Warner Brothers (but not the Warner Sister Dot) as possible. She ruled with an iron fist in One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest and even Jack came off second best. This woman is evil incarnate and deserves to be on this list. She also deserves a good swift kick.

9. Dracula

Alright! Now we’re getting somewhere! There’s been a lot of Dracula’s over the years so I’m just gonna point out the best. Christopher Lee. No contest. When you have Grand Moff Tarkin chasing after him as Van Helsing then you have conclusive evidence that the Brits make better films than anyone else on the planet.

Dracula ones.
Made by Hammer
In the 1950’s

Oh come on! They’re awesome!

8. Voldemort

*Sigh* Didn’t we cover this yesterday? Yes, thanks for teaching us to read JK we appreciate it. Now why the hell isn’t the Alien Queen on this list?!?!?!?

7. Catherine Tramell

Basic Instinct aye? I’ve never actually seen this film. I never got around to it. I know she crosses her legs and we can all see her hooha. Doesn’t really make her a villain does it? I’ve now been informed she kills guys after or during sleeping with them. Stupid bloody list. Where’s the shark from JAWS?

6. Montgomery Burns

We all know who Mr Burns is. So here are some of my favourite quotations of his:

1. I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time until … Oh, what the hell. I'll just crush him like an ant.

2. Ooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans!

3. I don't like being outdoors Smithers, for one thing, there's too many fat children.

4. Take that, Bowlorama! Take that, convenience mart! Take that, nuclear power pl–oh, fiddlesticks.

And of course:
5. Smithers there's a rocket in my pocket.

5. Alex DeLarge

Your Humble Narrator tells the story of his life and his droogs. Violence, sex and "Ludwig Van" are the staples of his existence. Alex is a victim of the system after he decides that holding no respect for others is the way to live his life. A Clockwork Orange provides an interesting social commentary of the near future but isn’t one I would include on this list. Epic Fail EW.

4. The Joker

Why does Batman only get 18th on the good guys list yet The Joker makes it to number 4? Is there no justice in the world?

I think it’s a safe bet to say that the Joker has single handily killed more people than anyone else in comics. Yet Batman keeps locking him up after he terrorizes Gordon, shoots Oracle, clubs Jason Todd and just likes screwing with people cause its fun. You gotta admire such a devotion to total anarchy don’t you? Even the rest of the bad guys and gals in Gotham don’t know what to make of him. I would seriously consider putting Mr J at number one.

3. Hannibal Lecter

I can see what they are doing here but Hannibal is more an anti-hero than a villain. He’s not beyond helping the good guys as long as there is something in it for him. I guess seeing your sister eaten in front of you does that to a guy. OK he did some crazy stuff but he was still nice enough to Clarice. Its not like he ate the girl for breakfast did he?

2. Darth Vader

I’m gonna clarify some details here. I’ll agree to keep Vader at second spot if we only include the original trilogy. I understand the tragedy is he was a nice young kid that fell from grace but it really takes the bad-assery away from when we saw him enter the Tantive IV for the first time when we think of the dodgy pick up lines he tried on Padme in Episode II.

I can’t think of a single film where one guy does as much damage collectively as Vader did in Empire. They just said, lets make this guy as bad as can be and they succeeded.
You ask anyone in the world who Vader is and they can tell you.
If they can’t, it’s because they reckon Star Trek is better and they are just in denial.

1. The Wicked Witch Of The West

Give Me A Break. I don’t believe this. How is this even possible? This is conclusive proof that if *anyone* ever took EW seriously they should stop reading right now.

How is The Wicked Witch the best villain of all time? I’ve had English teachers scarier than her. She scared Dorothy. How hard would that be? The kid was living on a farm in the middle of Kansas for crying out loud. If you looked at her the wrong way she would probably burst into tears. To top it all off, we now have the books and musical Wicked as more evidence into the character. She didn’t even do anything wrong! I prefer her to Glinda any day. Maybe it’s because I like brunettes… Anyway, Wicked Witch? Not even close. Misunderstood Mage with +5 flying skillz.