The Best Psychopaths in Comics, Part 2

Zipp: Hey everybody, hope you liked the first article! As promised, here's part two.

Bob: Yeah. Heard you guys couldn't get enough of our nice, hairy asses!

Zipp: Yeah Bob, that's it exactly (sarcasm). And just like last time, I must warn you that this article is FULL OF SPOILERS as well as an intense amount of GRAPHIC CONTENT. So if that ain't your thing, take your business elsewhere!

Bob: Yeah, you don't like it, go to Russia!

Zipp: And for the rest of ya, enjoy as we conclude our list of the greatest psychopaths in comics’ history!

5. Lono (100 Bullets)

Bob: Lono made a reputation for himself in 100 Bullets as being the crazy motherfucker who you didn't wanna mess with. He will kill you. End of story.

Zipp: Lono shares a lot of parallels with Barracuda - He does fucked up shit, but for money. But just like Barracuda, his actions go up and beyond those capable of a normal human being.

Bob: He ended up being possibly the scariest motherfucker I'd seen in comics in a while. Not a man I'd want to meet.

Zipp: He raped a woman repeatedly just because her man stole money from him, and killed his cellmate in prison just because he wanted a room to himself. Pretty fucked up shit.

Bob: He's durable, too. Lono's been run over by a car, beaten with nightsticks, shot by cops, shot in the face by one of his enemies, chased by attack dogs, and still always manages to live. I mean, I'm pretty sure the man was shot, stabbed, or bitten like 30 times.

The Best "Wow, That Guy's a Total Badass" Moment

Bob: Throwing an attack dog into an alligator pit.

The Best "Wow, That Was a Tad Bit Overboard" Moment

Zipp: Hanging a man upside down, cutting off his balls, stepping on them, and then presenting the man with the heads of his dead children.

Any Excuses For His Behavior?

Zipp: Said to have been a juvenile delinquent in his younger days. Nothing much past that is said about his childhood. But no matter what it is, I'm hard pressed to believe it would make what he does acceptable.

4. Mr. Hyde (League of Extraordinary Gentlemen)

Zipp: Anyone who has read the excellent "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen", Alan Moore's take on the idea of Victorian super heroes, remembers Mr. Hyde.

Bob: I loved reading that man's stories. The scenes where the League would just release Hyde as a last resort into areas just teeming with people were so damn awesome.

Zipp: Mr. Hyde, which most remember as Dr. Jekyll's evil alter ego in Robert Louis Stevenson's classic novel dealing with the dualism of human nature, is practically a rabid animal when under the pen of Alan Moore. Killing, raping, and eating anything that gets in his way, Mr. Hyde certainly lives up to his status as Dr. Jekyll's 'bad side'.

Bob: The man literally ate people. He picked up a random Chinese henchman, put him in his mouth, and ate him.

Zipp: The man loved eating things. He ate everything. Chinese, Arabic, British, Martian – didn’t make a bit of difference to Mr. Hyde. It's behaviors like these that separate Mr. Hyde from the other individuals on this list - he's practically an animal.

Bob: But not as much of one as I am in bed!

Zipp: To be honest, you and Mr. Hyde do have a lot in common. You both have lots of body hair, big teeth, bad breathe, and a bad habit of forcing yourself upon women. And oh yeah, I'm pretty sure you ate a Chinese guy once….

Bob: …..I can't believe you just said that I rape women on the internet. Something my parents, family, and friends will probably read at one point of another.

Zipp: They'll get over it. Anywho, the point is that Mr. Hyde is about as psychopathic as they come.

The Best "Wow, That Guy's a Total Badass" Moment

Zipp: Saving humanity by knocking over a Martian tripod and eating the Martian pilot, after suffering severe burns over his entire body.

The Best "Wow, That Was a Tad Bit Overboard" Moment

Bob: Fucking the Invisible Man to death. Literally.

Any Excuses For His Behavior?

Zipp: Well, Mr. Hyde is the physical incarnation of Dr. Jekyll's evil, so it makes sense that he's such a maniac. But still, bro rape? Come on, man….

3. Deadpool (Marvel Comics)

Bob: Deadpool has recently become my favorite character. Not only is he hilarious and the embodiment of the internet, he's entirely badass.
Zipp: Deadpool, as I'm sure you know, is the Merc with the Mouth, as well as an unfortunate participant of the notorious Weapon X program. While giving him an amazing healing factor and curing his cancer, it left him a wee bit, well, loony.

Bob: Less loony, and more bug-fuck insane. The man talks to himself, invisible people, ghosts, and the thing he's most famous for: the readers.

Zipp: Yep. Deadpool is so crazy that he actually breaks the fourth wall and speaks with the audience directly. But some of the less humorous aspects of his mental instability include a ruthless lust for money and bloodshed. While sometimes (usually against his will) he does good things, he's constantly looking out for himself.

Bob: Depending on what series you read, he's either trying to become a better person, or just being a mercenary. But the one unwavering facet about him is that he is still completely fuckin' nuts.

The Best "Wow, That Guy's a Total Badass" Moment

Bob: Basically anything the man has said is completely badass. I defy you to give me anything more than a trivial excerpt of his that is not badass.

The Best "Wow, That Was a Tad Bit Overboard" Moment

Bob: Well, he did ask Kitty Pride if she liked street fighter, then screamed "Shoryuken" while punching her in the face, sending her flying about a hundred feet.

Any Excuses For His Behavior?

Zipp: While his insanity is a side effect of what was done to him while in Weapon X, it's believed he might have already been a tad bit off his rocker before that.

2. Carnage (Spiderman)

Zipp: Carnage has an interesting back story. Formerly a serial killer by the name of Cletus Kasady, Carnage was born when Venom's symbiote bounded with him while in prison. A complete maniac, Carnage prides himself on absolutely slaughtering anyone he can get his hands on.

Bob: I mean, the man's a serial killer, how much crazier can you get than that? Oh yeah. Zipp.

Zipp: Fuck off. Carnage is more than just a serial killer: he's a serial killer mixed with symbiote, the very same biological gunk that made Venom the monster he was. That's like giving a shark a chainsaw. It's just bad news.

Bob: He had a crossover with the Joker, and they ended up getting into a fight over how to properly kill people. Sounds like a joke, but that's how crazy the man is. He argues over how to kill people.

The Best "Wow, That Guy's a Total Badass" Moment

Zipp: Carnage was such a difficult opponent that he forced an uneasy truce between known rivals Spiderman and Venom in order to bring him down.

The Best "Wow, That Was a Tad Bit Overboard" Moment

Zipp: Pushing his grandmother down a flight of stairs as an adolescent. And that's before he got bound to the symbiote. A grandmother! That’s right, the bearer of birthday cards, Christmas gifts, and cookies!!!

Any Excuses For His Behavior?

Bob: He had a pretty troubled childhood, a major persistent factor found in most serial killer's backgrounds.

1. The Joker (Batman)

Zipp: Come on, people! You didn't really think a list involving crazies would be complete without the big man himself?!

Bob: Who do you think we are? Gabe Medina? Hell's wrong with you? This man's the king of crazy!

Zipp: With a death count numbering in the thousands, the Crown Prince of Crime has given grief to just about everyone in the DC Universe. Applying creativity to his murderous ways, and able to kill without remorse, The Joker has again and again been incarcerated only to escape in order to continue bringing terror to the lives of all citizens of Gotham City, whether civilian, vigilante, or criminal.

Bob: There are some defining moments in that man's criminal life which are just cringe worthy, even in the eras where comics were still somewhat youth oriented.

Zipp: So, if you can think of a better candidate for the craziest psychopath in the comic medium, we'd love to hear your reply.

The Best "Wow, That Guy's a Total Badass" Moment

Zipp: Pencil trick, anyone?

The Best "Wow, That Was a Tad Bit Overboard" Moment

Bob: What's worse? Beating a preteen boy within an inch of his life with a crowbar and then blowing him up with a bomb? Or paralyzing a woman by shooting her in the spine and doing sexual things to her as she lays bleeding on the ground dying, all while photographing the incident to show to her father why you torture him? Take your pick, because I just don't think I'm one to say which is worse.

Any Excuses For His Behavior?

Zipp: The Joker is notorious for having numerous origin stories. Do any of them justify the horrible things he has done to innocent people? Well, simply put, no.

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