Zipp and The Goombah Say Hi

Zipp says: Let’s do this.

Bob says: Alright motherf*cker, what's up?

Zipp says: The higher ups are sayin’ we need to introduce ourselves. They dug the Soviet Union shit.

Bob says: Of course they did, it's the f*ckin' Soviet Union! So an introduction, eh? What in the shit does that entail?

Zipp says: Introduction meaning we tell everyone about ourselves. How do you want to do this? How bout I do you and you do me?

Bob says: Fair enough. So this Zipp motherf*cker, he thinks he's the shit. I see this motherf*cker sittin' around all day goin' "Hey everybody! Look at me! I'm the coolest ever!" uh huh. That's you.

Zipp says: For God sake's man take this seriously! Fine, asshole, I’ll go first. You see, Bob here, they call him The Goombah cause he’s a big fat ass Italian kid. He loves smoking, comics, and the fact that his father looks like Ron Jeremy. And just for everyone who’s curious, his favorite president is Grover Cleveland.

Bob says:  Alright, now we all know that THAT is a lie, because Grover Cleveland didn't do shit! All he ever did was sit around and say "Give me the Money"! But lemme take a shot at this seriously.  This Zipp guy, we call him Zipp cause, well, it’s a part of his last name. I've known the motherf*cker for a few years from playing rugby together. He can’t hold his booze, and likes to vomit uncontrollably in po’boy restaurants.

Zipp says: I did that one time!

Bob says:  Yeah, yesterday.

Zipp says: Hey man, its spring break! If I want to drink booze in the daytime, I’ll drink booze in the daytime!

Bob says: I drink booze all day long, and you don’t see me regurgitating po’boys everywhere!

Zipp says: But anyway, Bob and I used to play rugby together back in the day, and through that we became close friends. Naturally, we come to find out that both of us really loved comics.

Zipp says: So one day, I go to Bamkapow.com, and see a request for writers, a job Bob and I have both wanted for quite a while. So, a light bulb goes off, and here we are.

Bob says:  Yeah, and we see all these motherf*ckers: "Oh, I know EVERYTHING about comics!", "Oh, I think I'm a f*ckin' superhero!", "Woo, I'm the smartest sombitch at comics, disregard the fact that I've never seen female genitalia!”

Zipp says: Ouch man! That’s some harsh shit! Regardless of my stupid ass co-writer’s remarks, we are very excited to have this opportunity.

Bob says:  Yeah. Read their articles and such, they deserve it for their effort.

Zipp says: Hey, we're all in this Bamkapow family now. We gotta watch each other’s backs and stuff. But that doesn’t mean we can’t still pick fun at the other writers!

Zipp says: So, thanks for reading. This means a lot to us.

Bob says:  Yeah, keep on comin' back, and we'll keep deliverin' the goods, if you know what I'm sayin'.

Zipp says: We hope ya’ll enjoy!

 

*Editor's Note: This article has been changed from its original publication. These guys offended about 86 different races, sexual orientations & groups with their introduction. What a pair of f*cking jackasses.